draft of the essay1: online racist abuse [350-400words limit]

 Online racist abuse

  We are to "explore the changing nature of 
racism and racist politics
particularly as it relates to online behaviour".
The Guardian says: " Racism continues to dominate the headlines, from the rise of the far right to the status of racial abuse on social media".
 This series of articles with the head name "Racism in a digital age"
is being publishing since 8 July 2012 when the first article was announced.
Here is a link on this source:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/racism-in-a-digital-age

 I have chosen this topic as this very issue has always  been perturbing me. For years I do maintain communication with people of many races and national minorieties, and this is important for me, I support people by my love to them when they need this. These days people need love and on social media as well. There are so many acts of abusement people of not usual race for the territory of the country they are misused. I could never understand such old minded people and I suppouse I will not. So, here is my essay for this topic. I think some ideas you may support as well. Tnak you!


Essay 

 Every day on social media we can find an act of bulling, discrimination,  disrespecting and often even aggressive behavior to people who we need not differentiate. A prejudical treatment of people on the grounds of race (as on the age or sex too) are usual phenomena in our society. And this disquiet me. Such behavior is characteristic of civilizations in their early stages of development. We state: we are democratic and intelligent people. But why in aspect of communication and cooperation we still misbehave? Can we answer the question why we act this way? On social media the problem is absolutely the same as politics and all the spheres of our life got into the internet as well.

The reason may be the fact we deny racism: “so much has been invested in relegating it to the past,” - the authors concluded a possible reason why there is still a problem of racism. Gavan Titley and Alana Lentin for their article in the Guardian («Racism is still very much with us. So why don’t we recognize it?»). Sometimes beliefs of some groups of people in society with some moral and political weight becomes an ill-treatment to those who they disrespect, this hangover from the past should be admitted as a fact of contempt and unacceptable behavior, like huliganism and other outrage on media platforms and in reality. 

This information will be supported with solid evidence: some examples will be given. People  tend to differentiate and criticize. But what makes makes the situation worse is that on the internet people do not feel rational bounds to their acts and sayings. Moreover, there are sites that allow the amplification of negative relationship between people. The following comment is an instance of vilificatory posting:
”GET...OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, N***ers...and all the...that makes our COUNTRY STINK”.(expletives edited). What can we do with this inappropriate behavior?

Today there are special cyber-bulling, cyber-racism dealing websites. There we can find various examples  of misbehavior on the internet and the guide to the solution: an official complaint to the administration of the website or a higher one, blocking these comments and posts as their authors and administrators; in some cases court complaints are possible. This is the one of them - https://itstopswithme.humanrights.gov.au/speak/cyber-racism
I hope for all people who are not indifferent and urge you for peaceful existence. Help each other, do not be silent, be active and alive! Avoid hatred.






Here is a link to a source devoted to analyzing examples of racial discrimination on the internet in comments:
https://www.humanrights.gov.au/our-work/examples-racist-material-internet
This essay has been checked on plagiarism successfully:
https://smallseotools.com/view-report/552b4f3ae59d9f4b6aee607c409a8e2a
(100% unique)
393 of 400 words


Комментарии

  1. Dear Lisa,

    you are the first person who has shared her plagiarism check report with me. It's great you have done it! It attests to the efforts I have made to help you and your peers become aware of plagiarism and the steps you should make to avoid it:) I'm very-very pleased!

    ОтветитьУдалить
  2. We won’t be unfounded: it's more common to say that the claim(s) will be supported with solid evidence. As you can see I've changed the wording and the person. You used the 2nd person plural form common for Russian in this case, while I used an impersonal form in plural. It's more common in more fml writing.

    And another problem with the same sentence is that you have used a double negation: "won't" is negative and so is "unfounded"

    Moreover, there LINK VERB sites that allow the amplification

    What's the source of the expletive
    Gr: a more great problem

    Information about the resources: you need to add a clickable link to the article you have referred to: «Racism is still very much with us. So why don’t we recognize it?» I can't add it in the comment box because there is no such option for it

    People always were tend to differentiate: "were" and "tend" are not used together

    Not sure WHAT you meant by "accept a possible variant of conclusion"

    ОтветитьУдалить
  3. Overall, your essay is interesting to read and gives your readers an idea about a number of aspects of the problem it is devoted to. You have managed to incorporate the content of the article your essay is based on naturally in the content of your work.

    One of the things to improve is your conclusion. One of the techniques for writing them can help you to do it: http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/conclude.html

    ОтветитьУдалить
    Ответы
    1. Thank you for your report! I will definitely check the link You shared to me . I will rewrite my conclusion. By “accepting a possible varient of conclusion” I meant: the authors concluded a possible reason for denying racism.

      Удалить
  4. Этот комментарий был удален автором.

    ОтветитьУдалить
  5. Content: 5
    Organisation: 4.5
    Mechanics: 4.5
    Language: 4.5
    Referencing: 5!!!

    ОтветитьУдалить

Отправить комментарий